Thank you Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran

I don't know if the creators of 24 had anything to do with the season finale but I just wanted to express my appreciation to anyone/everyone involved for one of the best endings this year. Unlike a lot of shows that decided to ask more questions than answer them, 24 ended its run Monday with not only an exciting two-hour finale but the last frames were of Jack Bauer (aka Kiefer Sutherland) walking off into the sunrise after having to fake his own death. BRILLANT! After four seasons of throwing everything at the character from his own family's kidnapping to potential nuclear war, Jack deserves to lie around for awhile on a beach in Mexico sipping on a cold beer. Also, thank you for not killing off Tony Almeida and David Palmer who were the only surviving characters left from the first season. After the slaughter of so many last year - including Nina Myers and Sherry Palmer - it would have been too much. I can honestly say that if the show doesn't return next year, I'd be OK with that. So thank you 24. And now you'll have to humor me as I provide commentary on a few other finales...

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: This show also ended the season with a two-hour finale, but it was OK because Quentin Tarantino directed. One of our main characters, Nick Stokes, is kidnapped and buried alive so the rest of the CSI crew has to follow the clues and reach him in time. The difference this time was that not only did the audience have a view of Nick struggling underground, but the rest of the characters did too. It was a great way to heighten the tension of the story. Besides a few scenes that were completely Tarantino (including a great black-and-white hallucination scene of the two coroners talking about procedure over Nick's body), the show stuck close its usual form. I'm glad we knew the outcome before the show ended, and the last few minutes with Nick trying to come to grips with the entire ordeal was a good scene for actor George Eads to show some emotion. Bravo.
LOST: This is one of the shows I'm talking about when I say cliffhangers. Even though I had the satisfaction of learning a few of the island's secrets, there were plenty of other questions left unanswered. Bad things by the look of it in the finale - The monster will never be easily explained, Locke's obsession with the hatch could put even more people in danger and Charlie can't say no to a ready supply of heroin. Good things by the look of it in the finale: Claire's baby is finally safe, Boone can still come back in flashbacks (Yay!) and Walt is more important than anyone ever realized. (I'm counting that as a good thing because I knew he was more important than was let on because of his flashbacks). This was one finale I love to hate because it kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time, yet it didn't give much away. There is a lot to look forward to next season if I can wait that long.
Veronica Mars: Kudos also goes to this UPN show. I got hooked about halfway through the season, and I'm glad we didn't have to wait around for years to find out who killed our heroine's best friend Lilly Kane. Finding out that it wasn't her brother Duncan was a relief, and I hope the character gets more light-hearted moments with his classmates at Neptune High next season now that he's off the hook. I don't know what'll happen with the Veronica/Duncan/Logan triangle, but let's hope the witty one-liners and investigations into her classmates continue.

All work on Day One makes less work for Day Two

Here's how Day One back in Ohio shaped up.
12 a.m. - Sitting at a light in my hometown. (I guess every light in Ohio was trying to welcome me back because I got stuck at all of them along the way.)
12:21-1 a.m. - Arrive at my parents’ house after a 10-hour drive from South Carolina and unload of a few things that I don’t want to leave in the car overnight including clothes, computer and digital camera. I then crash in my brother’s old room which will now become mine during my temporary stay.
7:30 a.m.- Wake up to the phone ringing (someone for dad). Say hello to mom and dad who were already up watching TV so I sit down with them.
7:40 a.m. - Bored already so I go searching through the cabinets for something to eat. Settle for a bowl of Cheerios.
9 a.m. Bored again until my brother stops by to give me a bear hug, say hello (not to mention drop off some donuts). He leaves after a few minutes (to go to bed because he works midnights) and I get a shower.
9:45 a.m.-2 p.m. - Move, rearrange and unpack my stuff in the basement and “my bedroom.”
2-2:30 p.m. - Eat leftover pizza and breadsticks.
2:30-5 p.m. - More unpacking. (It sounds like a lot but to move all of your stuff twice within a week? Not too bad.)
5 p.m. - My sister makes it home and gives me a tour of the house she’s building for herself. She’s in the hanging drywall stage of the process.
6-7:50 p.m. - Eat a bowl of chili for dinner and watch this week’s episode of “24” that Kylie taped for me. (Can you believe Tony and Michelle finally admitted they loved each other enough to leave CTU and then he goes and gets taken hostage? Someone’s relationship better work out this season - that’s all I’m saying.)
8-10 p.m. - Hide out in my room watching “Jurassic Park III” and doing more rearranging while everyone else watches “American Idol” in the living room. (I just don’t like reality TV anymore.)
10 p.m.-midnight - Flipped through cable channels until I start dosing off and go to bed.

Because I did so much unpacking, I had even less to keep me occupied on Day Two. I did do some laundry and mom had a computer guy stop by to setup my computer. (Yay for email and the Internet!) I’m hoping the transition will get easier, but it’s hard to know that everyone has their own plans while I’m waiting to see what happens next. It’s kind of exciting too, but it’s also at the point where I’m not sure where to begin. Do I try and find a part-time job while I’m here or should I start looking for jobs elsewhere? I can’t even decide if I want to be a reporter anymore so that adds another set of questions to the mix. Don’t get me wrong; I’m still certain what happened is the best thing for me. I just have a lot to think about in the coming weeks about where and how I want to take that next step. It’s a little intimidating but I’m looking forward to it because it doesn’t really matter in the end as long as I’m happy. And I have a really strong feeling that I won’t be happy unless I’m on the move. So I could be coming soon to a town near you.

You’re fired!

Well… you’re not. I am. I walked into work this evening and the editors were ready for me. They said I was an instigator of bad relations between management and writers so they terminated our relationship immediately. (Immediately as in standing over me as I cleaned out my desk and turned over my key.) It did come as quite of a shock, but I can’t say I’m upset. I haven’t been happy for a long time. In my own defense, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and my thoughts can only influence others to a certain extent. If other people are unhappy, it isn’t because of what I said. I honestly believe I am good at the work that I do (or did) and I think I made a difference to at least a few people. (There was that award too.) I believe there are some changes about to happen in management and I think they’re trying to send a message to everyone else by using me as an example. I have apparently proved on more the one occasion that I’m vocal about what I think are problems. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. It may be difficult for awhile but I know in the long run they did me a favor. My family and friends have already planned their attack. The only regret I have is that won’t be able to see the girls everyday. But have no fear… they’ll still have me by blog.

My life is but a fetus.

My good friend Jeff likes to say, “The night is but a fetus,” but I think the phrase applies to more than just a long night out. It can mean anything that is young, native or incomplete. He offered me this amazing opportunity - a chance to live in California and get work experience I wouldn’t be able to find in South Carolina or Ohio. I really want to take it, but the thought of moving from one coast to the other is very intimidating. I just don’t want to look back on it and wonder “what if” so I’m still debating. Right now I’m about 70/30 that I’ll do it. I really, REALLY want to! The only thing is figuring out how to move my stuff…
On the work front: I got asked my a supervisor recently to compose several lists - 10 things I like about my job, 10 things I dislike about my job and any suggestions I have for improvement. Is it wrong that I’m enjoying writing out the “dislikes” list? Actually, it turned into a detailed outline divided into subsections that include my suggestions for correcting what I think needs correcting. (And in case you’re wondering, my “likes” list has three items on it right now. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about that.)
On a completely different topic… my skin likes to tell me when summer’s coming. How's that, you ask? Freckles... lots and lots of little pieces of dark pigment that cluster on any part of my skin that is exposed to the sun - face, arms, chest, back. They would probably be everywhere if I walked around naked. Most of the time I don't think twice about it because I have them all the time. But the more sun I get, the more pronounced and obvious they appear. It’s like having a thermometer built into your skin. They're not evenly proportioned so at first glance it looks like I've been working hard in a garden or garage and wiping my face with grimy hands. Under closer inspection, you notice that they're not even round dots, but random shapes like clouds in the sky. I don't have a freckle that resembles Jesus or anything, but I’ll bet I can pick out the Hawaiian Islands. It's not just the freckles but the pinkish quality my skin also gets in the sun. It looks like a cross between a rash and sunburn. Now, I've always been a low-maintenance girl (I still don't use moisturizer regularly), but I really tried through the winter to be what I call a "grown-up" about skin care. (Grown-up in the sense that I can be responsible enough to remember to use more than moisturizing soap on a daily basis.) I spent more than a few dollars on various scrubs, masks and cleansers but I still can't find the right combination for my combination skin. How do people do it? You practically need a degree in chemistry! Because of that, I don't wear sunscreen like I should either. With my family history, I'm just asking for melanoma. Sorry, I just had to say something about the different degrees of sunburn I have along my arms.
OK. The night is no longer a fetus but now a juvenile delinquent which is my cue to go to bed. Until next time.

Drama, drama everywhere

Alright, I know most of you know at least part of the story of the recent divisions between my good friend Gabe and I, and some of you know the latest news. But for those of you who don't, here is a quick synopsis.

I think everyone here knows about the blow-up at Olive Garden and the ensuing month and a half of Gabe not talking to me, so I won't re-hash that. Well, I wrote Gabe a letter last week because my grandpa's death kind of got me thinking about my relationships with people. I emailed him last Sunday to ask for his new mailing address (he moved last weekend), and he never responded. I found out that he would be at his old place until Wednesday, so I went ahead and put the letter in the mail. That was Sunday, so I'm sure he got it by Tuesday or Wednesday. Thursday Randi asked him for his address because she needed to send him something, and he was adament that she not give it to me. The same day, Randi decided she really couldn't handle being just friends, so she told Gabe it was basically all or nothing.

Friday, Gabe calls me. As hopeful as I was that he was actually feeling badly about the way he had treated me and wanted to make things right, I knew deep-down that he was only calling me to get to Randi. If my letter had really made him think, he wouldn't have waited until Friday to call me. And, when I actually answered the phone when he called, his first response wouldn't have been, "Oh, I was kind of hoping to get your voicemail." Well, I'm sorry asshole-that-I-don't-know-anymore-who-used-to-be-my-friend, that I put you through the discomfort of actually speaking to me. To be honest, it wasn't all that comfortable for me either. After I got off the phone with him, I felt about as close as I ever have to a panic attack, because this huge part of me wanted to believe he was going to make things right, but the logical part of me knew he wasn't going to.

And the logical part of me was right. Despite the advice of friends and family, I agreed to go over to his new place (ha! now I have his address--maybe I can stalk him, which seems to be what he thought I would do if I knew it). I got over there, and he acted like we could just start up again without him apologizing and admitting he'd treated me badly. It seems he thinks that the "I'm sorry..." he sent me in an email a couple days after the blow-up, which also happened to be the last contact he had with me for 46 days, should suffice. He also didn't seem to think I should be upset about the fact that he'd cut me out of his life, when he was the one in the wrong. And he tried to blame his near-psychotic behavior on me knocking on his window that night to get him to stop and talk to me. He asked me, "What would have happened if you had broken my window?" So I have two questions for those reading this who know me--Can you imagine me ever getting violent because I'm angry? And can anyone even seriously imagine that I even have the physical strength to break a car window with my bare hand?

So the whole time, Gabe is pretty much saying, "what is it you want me to do?" How about show a little emotion, act like you care, and take some responsibility? When I said it didn't seem like he cared, he said he wouldn't have invited me over if he didn't care. I said that probably had more to do with Randi's saying she wasn't going to be just his friend than anything, and he said, "maybe a little"--because he can't handle Randi and I both at once. Which is crazy, because I love Gabe to death, but he's acting like I'm hard to get along with, and believe me, you have to have a saint's worth of patience to friends with Gabe.

I don't want any of you reading this to think less of Gabe, because for the most part, he is one of the most generous, caring people I know. But if I'm going to honest with myself, there have been issues in our friendship for a long time. For one thing, he has never been really upfront with me about how he feels about Randi. He acts like he could take her or leave her, but I know he cares a lot about her--but I don't think he knows that I realize that. When Gabe and Randi first started talking about dating, Gabe never even told me about it. So I probably haven't been as open with Gabe as I should be, because I know he's not open with me. He got upset with me several months ago, because I got tired of him making fun of me about Bob (Gabe makes fun of everything, I know that, but he was out and out mean at times about the whole thing), so I asked him if he couldn't be nice to just leave it alone. Then he got upset because nothing should be off-limits between friends--but it wasn't a problem that he, as one of my best friends, didn't bother to tell me that he was thinking about dating one of my other best friends and future roommmate?

I know I've been rambling awhile now, sorry. So here's the situation now--I walked out and told Gabe when the guy I knew came back to give me a call. I have a feeling that will be awhile, because it seems right now that he's not willing to take accountability for anything. When he gets to the point that he realizes that our friendship is fixable and worth the effort, I'll still be here. We may just have a lot of work cut out for us.

Things I want to accomplish this summer...

1) Pay off at least one of my credit cards, cancel it and cut it up. (They make it really difficult when they insist on raising my credit limit.)
2) Lose 10 pounds and get toned before my brother's wedding in June and continue an exercise regimen afterward. (What? Don't look at me like that; I'm no different than anyone else.)
3) Call my family and friends more often. (I have unlimited night and weekend minutes; why haven't I been taking advantage?)
4) Avoid all types of unhealthy relationships. (That includes dating and friendships. I know this is vague but I think everyone who actually reads this blog knows what I'm talking about.)
5) Apply for at least one new job every week until I get an interview and get hired by an employer who appreciates me. (Being able to move for a new job without hesitation is a perk of being young and single.)

I finished reading this book called "The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing." In it, the main character learns through a series of relationships that all she should have to be is herself. She tried being mysterious and playing games, (that's where the fishing and hunting reference come in) but she ends up almost losing the man she loves because of it. (I say almost because she doesn't lose him and the book ends on the typical "happily ever after" note.)
Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for people who are happily in love. I'm just torn between what kind of endings books should have. A book can help you escape from your daily life so a nice and neat little ending that ties up all loose ends is great. On the other hand, a book should be realistic but that would mean every story can't have an ending that answers every question. Does that make sense? Ultimately, I guess it depends on your mood. I know I’m probably overanalyzing, but I was recently reminded that being single is always better than being in a bad relationship. As much as I complain about not having someone to whisper to or cuddle with, I can live without it for now. I’ve got more important things to accomplish.