Hmm... a haircut or an alarm clock?

Because unemployed people tend to think about money (or a lack there of) for most waking hours, I’ve come up with my own financial classes. Below are the various levels and some examples I can think of off the top of my head.

1. The ‘Po Class - Being so broke you can’t even afford the “or” in “poor.” This includes basic necessities like shelter, clothing and food.

2. The On-the-Brink Class – Barely affording the necessities while living paycheck to paycheck. Any extra money earned by people in this category is usually spent on additional toiletries, sale items or the occasional dinner out.

3. The Convenience Class – You can buy the necessities and afford to buy things that make your life easier or encourage your hobbies. For example, it might be a bicycle for city-dwellers, an extra set of cookware, closet organizer and/or recreational equipment.

4. The Make-a-Day-of-It Class – This is when you and your classmates regularly plan a whole day just to shop at multiple stores and all of the bags require you to make several trips to and from your vehicle to unload your purchases. (This may sound vaguely familiar to those of us in lower classes – if we do it, we do it once a year at Christmastime.) It’s not surprising for these people to know where to find the best sales and parking spaces.

5. The Big-Ticket Item Class – Besides buying everything previously mentioned, this group drops large sums of money in real estate, transportation, athletic team season tickets and annual vacations to exotic locations. A lot of these purchases can be considered investments and there’s always a nest egg (bank account in Switzerland) hidden somewhere.

6. The Ridiculously Wealthy Class – I’m stretching here because I’m not very familiar with this group but I would assume this group buys stuff they don’t want just because they can. You know… like rare white tigers or an island.

It’s safe to say I’m teetering between #1 and #2 at the moment but I’ve been as high as #3. That’s something to be proud of, right? Sigh… I think I’ll take the bus to the outlet mall tomorrow.