Funniest moment I ever missed

Well, I've decided my punishment for not going back to Pennsylvania for my grandfather's funeral is that I missed what might have been the funniest moment in my life.

My grandma, who is in her late 70s, called another woman of about the same age a slut--at the funeral. Ok, not to her face, but the woman was apparently only a few feet away, and there were lots of other people close by. I didn't even realize my sweet grandma knew that word. But seeing as the woman to whom she was referring was the same woman who was running around with my grandpa behind my grandma's back for a couple of years, meanwhile accepting invitations by my grandma to have dinner at their home, I guess she probably deserved it.

My mom said that she and my dad really had to watch my grandma and keep her away from "that other thing." I didn't know this woman's real name until a few days ago when I asked my mom, because my grandpa had moved on to his third wife by the time I was born, and the few times my grandma's mentioned her, she just always calls her "that other thing."

I was a little worried about how my mom was going to take the funeral, but I think she was honestly a lot more angry than sad, especially when the pastor kept talking about how good of a husband and a father my grandpa was. "He didn't know the meaning of the word stepchild--he treated his stepchildren just like his own," the pastor said. My mom said she felt like saying, "No, he didn't, he treated them far better than he treated his own children."

So as funny as it is to think about my grandma calling someone a slut (then imagining my grandma hitting that woman upside her head with her purse, as I'm sure she wanted to do), it's also very sad that such a little man could cause my mom and my grandma so much pain all these years later. The scars we get from those we love are the ones that never really heal.